Oh, as I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be

I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be

Well, I called me wife and I said to her, "Will you kindly tell to me"

"Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?"

Ah, you're drunk

You're drunk you silly old fool

Still you can not see

That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me

Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more

But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be

I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be

Well, I called me wife and I said to her, "Will you kindly tell to me"

"Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be?"

Ah, you're drunk

You're drunk you silly old fool

Still you can not see

That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me

Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more

But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be

I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be

Well, I called me wife and I said to her, "Will you kindly tell to me"

"Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be?"

Ah, you're drunk

You're drunk you silly old fool

Still you can not see

That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me

Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more

But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before

And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be

I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be

Well, I called me wife and I said to her, "Will you kindly tell to me"

"Who owns that boots up on the bed where my old boots should be?"

Ah, you're drunk

You're drunk you silly old fool

Still you can not see

They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me

Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more

But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before

And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be

I saw a head inside the bed where my old head should be

Well, I called me wife and I said to her, "Will you kindly tell to me"

"Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be?"

Ah, you're drunk

You're drunk you silly old fool

Still you can not see

That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me

Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more

But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before

Lalala ladidadida