Mark Travers writes about the world of psychology. Being selfish has a bad reputation. We’re often taught from an early age that prioritizing our own needs makes us cold or self-centered.

They said I had "hit the wall" and that I'd gotten what I deserved for being selfish, career-obsessed, and not wanting children during my marriage. There were also suggestions that I seek a therapist.

I’m not advocating that Black women stop caring or stop resisting, but I do think it's time that we start being selfish. We need to allow ourselves the time to grieve. To feel angry.